With the way that society is constantly changing and weddings becoming more original, it is difficult to know what is considered proper etiquette today. To help, we have taken a number of the latest questions from some of our brides and shared our tips and advice.
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Photo courtesy of Four Seasons Maui |
First of all, find a place that has meaning for the two of you. If you are planning a wedding in a tropical location, make sure that it is easy for your guest to get to, and in a location where your guests are going to enjoy themselves. You might love the latest rustic Eco lodge with no electricity but your guests may not share the same feelings.
What should the couple pay for?
Generally the guests are responsible for their own airfare and lodging. In some cases the couple would cover the expense of housing their attendants. However, many couples cannot afford to pay for multiple nights’ accommodations, and ask their attendants to cover all of their costs. Typically, the groom’s family, or the couple pays for the rehearsal dinner, and the reception is covered by the bride’s family or the couple.
Should the bride and groom send out destination-wedding invites?
I fully recommend that you send out save-the-date notices at least eight months in advance or early enough so your guests can begin making plans, ask for time off work, and start saving their money. Be sure to include information about hotel options, group rates and so on. Send out the formal invitations approximately two months ahead of time.
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Photo courtesy of Muriel MacRae |
If everyone on your guest list had e-mail and checks it regularly, then it is fine to e-mail your save the dates. Otherwise, you should send a tangible one in the mail.
What time of day do most destination wedding occur? Why?
Most couples get married around 4pm when the temperature is not as hot and there is still time for photos before the sun sets.
How can the couple indicate that their event is adult-only?
Some couples choose an adult-only resort as one way to solve the problem. If children's names are not on the invitation, it means that they are not invited to the ceremony. However, you cannot prevent parents from bringing their children to a family resort. You might want to talk to them ahead of time to discuss ways you can help with child care whether it is helping to find a baby sitter or arrange an activity to keep the children busy during the wedding.
Is it okay for the couple to share a hotel room before the ceremony?
Many couples share a room the night before the ceremony unless their religious or cultural traditions forbid it. If you want to have separate rooms for fun, tradition or superstition, you might want to bunk with a family member or a single member of the wedding party.
What gift should the wedding couple give their guests?
If the couple can pay for a group activity, or welcome dinner, that is a huge gift in itself. Favours are not a necessity at the wedding, but guests really appreciate a welcome basket which can be put together without spending a lot of money.
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Photo courtesy of Kate Aspen Shops |
Is it all right to ask your destination wedding guests not to buy you a wedding gift, but to give you money instead?
No! No! No! It is never proper etiquette at any time to ask your guests to give you money. Many couples feel that their guests are paying enough to travel to their wedding and encourage them to forgo the gift.
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Muriel MacRae, owner of Del Sol Travel and Del Sol Destination Weddings, is a travel consultant and wedding planner who specializes in destination weddings and romantic getaways to tropical areas such as Hawaii, Costa Rica, Mexico, the Caribbean, and the South Pacific. Located in Calgary, Alberta, she plans destination weddings and honeymoons for couples in and around the Calgary area and throughout North America. For more information about planning your destination wedding, honeymoon, or romantic getaway, please contact her at muriel@delsoldestinationweddings.com or phone 403-477-0643.